||[Jan. 18th, 2009|03:02 am]
So while I have Jare waggling his dick at me from the next room, I'll have to make this goddamn short. |
As I have yet to delegate any new years resolutions this year, I resolve here and now to write every day in this journal. You may ask, "What the fuck has changed? What has prompted you to cultivate the journal you have so blatantly neglected?"
Well my friends, the answer is simple. I have shit to write about now. Not just about how my job sucks or the new flavour of gum I like, now I have musings that demand documentation. I am embarking daily on a spiritual quest for enlightenment. Those around me probably know I am into some fringe studies like astrology, tarot, numerology, etcetera. And although these subjects are used by gossipy, pincurled housewives to divine lottery numbers and to calculate which days are most worthwhile to waddle their ass down to the bingo hall, they have primed me for more intricate, more comprehensive studies. I am starting to question the very fabric of the universe.
Now before you think I've become a paranoid schizophrenic from years of hallucinogenic drugs, bite thy tongue, ye of little faith. Every change that has happened to me in the past 9 months has been ultimately a positive one. I live in a fantasy land. A real-life fantasy land. Everything I have ever dreamed is accessible to me instantaneously, intently, and inexplicably. I am living the dream life.
You have been led astray. Pointblank. I know for a fact that every one of you reading this is disillusioned, disenfranchised with reality as you know it. Your job blows. People around you are cruel, self-destructive and thoughtless. You are enslaved to the material. Your whole existence is a day-in, day-out struggle, comprised of endless cycles of working, sleeping, and repetition. You know this isn't how things are supposed to be, but you can't quite put your finger on how they should be. The world to you is alien. To reference The Matrix (as I have on numerous occasions felt my life has turned into), it's as though you're searching for something, maybe subconsciously, but you only have a vague idea of what that something is. You've been down that road before, you know where it leads. The world you currently live in isn't giving you any answers. I am only saying here what I believe is truth. MY truth. There is something more to humanity than the meat puppets we've been indoctrinated to believe. There is more to life than jobs, things, money, war, and fear.
There are big changes afoot, and those who are ready are already attuned to what is happening can sense it. Every person, I believe, is at some point in the journey towards knowing exactly who we are and why we are here. Why Earth? Why now? These are the questions that we all know need answering, whether you're a jew, muslim, atheist, whatever.
I am turning this journal into a tool. It is here that I will document the changes that are happening with me, and hopefully whoever still reads this will find some hope, some good in it. Only those who are ready will find any use of this at all. Those who are not ready will shrug it off as delusions, something to scoff at, something to notch your ego up higher on the totem pole than me, and everyone else who believes in what I do. There is nothing here that I am posting but the truth, my own personal truth. You may agree with all, some, or none of it, and that is your prerogative. I am not here to force anything down your throat, to preach, or to condemn any of you. This is not me saying how much better I am than you, or how you should change your way of life to my prescribed framework. I am merely writing here to document, and if those who find their way here can find good it in, all the better.